Many of us are romantics at heart, believing that because one marriage fails does not mean a second marriage will not prove successful. Statistically speaking, however, this does not match the reality of remarriage. While the divorce rate for a first marriage is between 40 and 50 percent, for second marriages the rate jumps to over 60 percent, and for third marriages the divorce rate is over 70 percent. An article in The Huffington Post offered some insight into post-divorce mistakes that could lead to bad remarriages. Some include:
- You may not be acknowledging the role you played in the breakup.
- You fear being by yourself and choose to re-marry to ensure companionship.
- You are looking for “a quick fix to the psychological wounds” of divorce rather than taking the time you need to work through those issues.
- You lack basic household or job skills and remarry to avoid having to learn them.
So if these are some pitfalls, what are some solutions? Understanding your role in the demise of your first marriage is a crucial first step. A therapist can help you develop the self-awareness to make this possible. A therapist can also help you work through the psychological wounds and anger. And self-sufficiency is an easily learned skill if you are mentally committed to accomplishing the task and willing to ask for guidance from your loved ones and professionals.
An article from the American Psychological Association offers a few more tips if you are ready to consider remarriage:
- Agree in advance on the living arrangements and financial arrangements.
- Resolve any lingering concerns from your previous marriage so the remarriage does not exacerbate issues between you and your previous spouse.
- If you are entering into a union where children are involved, anticipate the types of decisions and changes that will accompany your blended family. Make sure everyone's expectations are aligned.
Still, because the statistics for remarriages are not favorable, you may want to consider a prenuptial agreement. A qualified attorney can assist you to ensure you enter your marriage in an open and honest way. Contact an experienced Illinois family law attorney today.