Barbara Cook knows a thing or two about marriage and how to make it work. After 73 years of bliss, hardships and love, the woman can give advice to anyone. She has made it easier for all to hear her in her book Fall in Love for Life. Here, she paints a good picture of what a good marriage should be in her mind.
Physical touch is crucial to human nature. In marriage it goes above. Making time to make love is important. The excuse of not having time or being too tired is just not acceptable, according to Cook. She states that touching is an integral part to staying connected. She encourages greeting your partner when you see them after a day's work. By putting everything down and acknowledging your partner it shows that person is important to you and you are happy to see them. Tuning into your partner physically and emotionally helps keep the connection. Everyone wants to be heard and giving your full attention shows a sign of respect and love.
On the negative side, there are many things that can destroy a marriage.
Bickering and getting angry is good for no one. When upset take a breath and admit you are losing your cool. No one wants to deal with a hot-head – control your anger and be smart about how to walk away so no harsh words are said. Things are remembered and bringing up the past is so easy to do, but it does not help anyone to bring up the past during a current argument – let it be and learn to forgive! Talk through things, especially when it comes to money problems. Do not keep secrets and put everything on the table. Though fights and disappointments are inevitable, affairs are not the way to go. Realizing no one is perfect and that one person cannot satisfy every need will free up expectations and allow you to love your partner. Lastly, though not necessarily negative but hard transitionally, is the move from lovers to parents. Do not let children give you a chance to make excuses to make time for one another. Find a way to make it work.
Marriage takes a lot of hard work. When two people are willing to work at it, it can be a beautiful thing. However, when it is breaking apart and enough is enough, divorce might be an option. Contact a Naperville divorce attorney.